Bourgeois Dilemma #16: my husband is training for the marathon.

This weekend, as a nation we celebrate our independence from the rule of british monarchs. In my household we are indeed free from taxation without representation, but are now ruled by an obsession. Amidst the annual kids red white and blue bike parade, fireworks and the like, we are focused on a key future date: November 7, 2010. The running of the ING New York City Marathon. Timex tells me that there are some 125 days, 22 hours 4 minutes and six seconds remaining until the big day, but if you want to live the journey along with us until the race feel free to track it for yourself here: http://www.ingnycmarathon.org/.

As the wife of a middle aged white man (and no, I don't want to get in to the whole 40 is the new 30 so middle aged is 50 argument. My husband may look 35 but he is on the downhill from 45 to 50 and that is middle aged), I know I am not alone as a marathon widow. After all, Marathons is officially #27 on the list of Stuff White People Like http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/27-marathons/. But this marathon thing is just the latest in a string of time intensive and all consuming athletic pursuits that "we" have taken on over the last 10 years or so. Before that, we were simply fat. Our marriage was one not only of two people, but of one family that ate dessert but never hor d'ouvres, and another that was the other way round. Naturally, we joined in our perfect union and sat down each night to a full on cheese and cracker platter, three course dinner and dessert washed down with a bottle of wine. Give yourself a few months or years of that diet followed by team pregnancy and all that follows and you too can be 20-30 pounds heavier than you should be. Thank goodness, somewhere along the way it was decided that a group of our friends would join forces as a team in the Nantucket Iron Teams Relay race - each member taking on a leg such as a paddle board across the harbor, a 3 mile run on sand with a 20 lb. pack of sand on your back, etc. (White enough?). Tim owned the 13 mile bike leg and to keep him motivated his teammates spray painted FAT BASTARD along the route at key milestones. He was motivated and the lucky thing is that this started a trend of races and runs that seems to keep on going. 10Ks lead to half marathons and two years ago NY. Since it's a good idea to do it more than once, last year ran the requisite 9 NYRR races, volunteered at one and now has a number for 2010.

So here we are in July and the training begins in earnest. Just last night, as we stood by the bbq, chardonnay in hand with a gorgeous sea side sunset as a backdrop, my sweet husband turned to me and said "from here to the street that Jen and Mike live on is exactly one mile. And to the point where the road turns up away from the water is two. And...." not sure if it was my yawn or the glazed over look in my eyes that prompted him to cut off his romantic soliloquy "distances from here to there". Training for the marathon or any race involves longer and longer "long runs" on a weekend day as well as several runs during the week. As the runs get longer, the preparation and the post run activities also increase in duration and intensity. Somewhere around August, I will routinely be awakened at 2 or 3 am to the sound of crinkling energy bar wrapper and chewing. Can't run 15 miles on dinner from the night before and of course you can't eat just before a run. And while an "en suite" bathroom is supposed to have some sort of cache, when it comes time for him to get up at 5AM in order to head out and run 10 miles on a wednesday morning, I make no bones about the fact that the best place for the pre run toilette is the doorman's bathroom in the basement. Luckily, we spend a lot of time out of the city in the summer, and I am free to relax and read the sunday new york times on the beach looking up every once in a while to make sure that my kids aren't drowning. It's september back in NYC that I am wondering about this year, when he will spend dawn til dusk one day each weekend busy with carbo loading, hydrating, eliminating, running around the island of manhattan, hydrating, stretching, showering, eating, stretching, hydrating, eating and resting in front of the TV while I makethebedsfeedthechildrenwalkthedogcleanupthekitchenshowerwalkthedog

gotosoccerpracticewalkthedogentertainthechildrenmakelunchcleanuplunchshopforfood

answerworkemailsprocurekidspartypresentwalkthedoggotopartyandpreparedinner.

Don't get me wrong, come November 7 i will ride all over the 5 boroughs and provide goo at the right places and wave signs and scream and run along. And maybe, just maybe, on november 8th i will start training for a 24 endurance race in costa rica.